


Risk/Reward

by Chash



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, F/M, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 10:19:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5286959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Clarke's semi-estranged father has a heart attack, she and her daughter move back to the town she left when she was twelve to reconnect with him. And some other people she used to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Risk/Reward

Clarke would like to say that she's not the kind of parent who bribes her kid to be good. And probably she doesn't, not exactly. Her mother was one of those suffering-builds-character types; Clarke doesn't reward tantrums or anything like that, but she recognizes that, sometimes, things suck. And sometimes things don't actually suck, but they feel like they do to a kid, and that's important too. Sophie had been excited to start kindergarten with all her friends from preschool, and having to move to a new town right where she doesn't know anyone but her grandfather right at the beginning of the summer really is shitty for a five-year-old. 

So the new puppy isn't a bribe. It's a good idea. They're going to have a real house, with a nice yard. Clarke's always liked animals. She'd been meaning to get them a pet for a while, and now is a good time. And if it gives Sophie something to be happy about, that's not nothing.

"Do you think we can get a girl?" Sophie asks. She's bouncing in the back seat, excitement about the dog having eclipsed her sulkiness about the move. "I want a girl dog."

"There should be girl dogs, yeah," Clarke says. "But I think we should wait and see who's there. Remember, these are rescue dogs, so we might not find a dog exactly like you're imagining, but there are going to be so many, and they all need homes. So you should just see which dogs you like."

"Why do they need rescuing?" asks Sophie.

"A lot of reasons. Sometimes people get pets and they realize they can't take care of them. They don't have enough time or enough money. So they have to give them back."

"If we can't take care of our dog, is someone going to come and rescue her?"

"Wouldn't you want that?" Clarke asks. "I know we're going to take care of her, so you don't have to worry, but you want any dog who isn't happy and taken care of to go to someone who will love them?"

Sophie thinks it over for a while. "Yeah. But--what if I'm not good at taking care of her right away?"

"That's why we waited to get a dog," Clarke says, turning into the vet's office. There's a bright, handwritten sign reading _PET ADOPTION 10-6 TODAY_ and Clarke checks the clock on the dashboard. 10:04. Sophie was up at six, and it was hard enough for Clarke to convince her that they had to wait until 9:45 to leave. She is very committed to getting the first look at these dogs. "Now that we've got a house and I'm working at home and you're five, I think we can take care of a dog really well. And even if it takes you a little longer, I'll be there. Until you learn."

"Okay," says Sophie, nodding.

Clarke gets her out of the car and takes her daughter's hand, taking her around to the back of the vet's office, where she can see a bunch of tents and pets. There's a dark-haired young woman hanging out, poking her cell phone, familiar without being identifiable. Clarke moved away when she was twelve after her parents got divorced; there are all sorts of vaguely familiar things and people, echoes of a life she left behind.

Then the woman looks up and grins, sudden and bright, and Clarke recognizes her in a flash of insight, remembers Octavia Blake, all big smile and missing teeth, scuffed up and scrappy. One of her favorite people she's lost touch with.

"Clarke! Right? It's Clarke. And this must be your daughter! I forgot you had a kid."

"It's Clarke, yeah." Sophie is hiding behind her leg, her usual move around strangers, and Clarke tugs her gently. "Soph, this is my friend Octavia. I was just about your age when I met her. In kindergarten."

Octavia kneels down so she's at Sophie's level. "Hey," she says. "I'm the vet here. Are you looking for a dog or a cat?"

Sophie's quiet for a second, but excitement is apparently stronger than her shyness, because she says, "We're getting a dog. A girl dog. We're going to take really good care of her, so you don't have to take her back."

Octavia smiles. "That's good. We've got a lot of really good dogs here today, and they're all gonna love you. And you'll be in great hands, my brother's over there with the dog, he'll help you find the perfect one."

Clarke startles at that. "Bellamy?"

"He's the only brother I've got. Thank god," she adds, with a fond smile. "I make him volunteer for all my events. He doesn't have a life, I let him pretend he does." She straightens and cocks her head at Clarke. "Are you--back? Like, for good?"

"Yeah. I don't know if you heard about my dad--"

"Oh, of course," says Octavia, nodding. "How's he doing, by the way?"

"Better," Clarke says. "He loves getting to see me and Soph. I think he was probably pretty lonely, honestly."

Sophie tugs her hand. "Moooooom. Dogs!"

"She makes a good point," Clarke says, flashing a smile at Octavia. "But--we should catch up."

"Definitely. I can't believe we're not Facebook friends, honestly."

Clarke laughs. "Not on Facebook."

"God, you and Bell. Weirdos. Anyway, it's just back there, to the left. Bell will help you."

Clarke is admittedly a little fluttery about seeing Bellamy. Stupidly so. He's just--he's five years older than his sister, so when Clarke left, he was seventeen, tall and broad with a smattering of freckles on his face and a smile that seemed to have actually been specifically designed to make girls like her melt.

But he's in his early thirties now. Sixteen years later, he's probably balding and paunchy. Just because Octavia's gorgeous now doesn't mean Bellamy still is.

Just thinking that jinxes it, of course. She catches sight of him as they turn the corner and he's still impossibly, breathtakingly attractive.

He hasn't noticed her yet, but Clarke can see him, sitting in a chair with the dogs, wind ruffling his untidy black curls. Her eyes catch on his hands--large and solid, no wedding ring--and the curve of muscle under the t-shirt he's wearing. He's petting a dog whose head is on his leg, an absent smile on his face, and when he looks up and meets Clarke's eyes, her mouth actually goes dry.

Bellamy Blake: still fucking hot.

She can see him trying to figure out why she looks familiar, and she's honestly not expecting him to get there. But his smile broadens and Clarke's heart stutters a little.

"Clarke Griffin?" he asks.

"Hey, Bellamy. Octavia said you could help us find a dog," she says, giving her daughter's hand a squeeze. 

Soph is bouncing, all timidity forgotten. There are a lot of dogs, all wagging tails and lolling tongues, and Clarke can't help her own grin either. Bellamy gives her a fond smile too, crouching down to talk to Sophie on her own level, just like his sister did.

"Hi," he says. "I'm Bellamy. What kind of dog are you looking for?"

"A girl. And--" She glances at Clarke. "Mom said there might not be many puppies?"

"Yeah, we don't have a ton of puppies," Bellamy agrees. He looks to Clarke too. "Size preference?"

"Huh?" she asks. She tries to keep her mind out of the gutter when Sophie's around, but that one is a complete mystery. It cannot be going anywhere good.

"Big dog? Small dog? How much room do you have?"

"Oh, duh," says Clarke, trying not to flush. "Bigger. Not, like, huge, but--retriever-sized, maybe? Nothing smaller than a cocker spaniel. I'm not into tiny dogs."

"Cool. We actually have a litter of puppies who sound like a good match. Mostly some kind of shepherd, probably, with some other stuff mixed in."

Clarke worries her lip. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Where are they?" asks Soph. "Can I meet them?"

Bellamy cocks his head at Clarke, clearly confused by her reaction, and she gives him a somewhat weak smile. "Yeah, of course. Take us to the puppies."

They're in a cage all together, five little balls of black-and-tan fuzz whose ears don't know how to stand up yet. Sophie squeals, and Clarke bites back on her smile.

"Can I play with them?" she asks Bellamy, tugging on his jeans in her excitement.

"I think we can handle that, yeah. But just two at a time, okay? We don't want them getting too excited."

Sophie selects the first two puppies to meet carefully, and Bellamy removes them from the pen with all due ceremony. Clarke sits down in the grass to supervise and make sure neither puppy escapes from Sophie's care, and she's surprised when Bellamy sits down next to her.

"Don't you need to help other people?" she asks.

He makes a show of looking around. "You're right, there's a real rush." His smile is wry, and Clarke feels another stupid rush of attraction. She hasn't really dated in a few years, and the desire to actually do it is unfamiliar and somewhat unnerving. "I missed her name."

"Sophie."

"And she's--five? Your dad's mentioned her a couple times."

"Yeah, five."

"So you were--twenty-three? That's pretty young."

Clarke shrugs, watching Sophie chase the puppies around. "Yeah, it wasn't exactly planned. And it was--" She pauses, looking down. Bellamy's basically a stranger, at this point. They were never friends in the first place, and sixteen years of not seeing him probably cancels out the seven years they had known each other. "Well, I'm glad I have her," she settles on.

"She seems--energetic," he says.

"Yeah, she's usually pretty shy around new people, but apparently puppies trump strangers."

"Or I'm just a naturally relaxing presence and put people at ease," he says, deadpan, and Clarke laughs.

"That must be it."

"So you're back to take care of your dad?"

"Not entirely," she says. "I mean--kind of, but he's not so badly off he really needs someone dedicated to taking care of him. But--" She squints at him. "You're asking a lot of personal questions."

"Sorry?"

"I'm just not convinced you really want the answers."

"Ah. The old _is he being polite or does he really want to know how I am_ issue." He gives her another smile. "Genuinely curious. Tell me as much or as little as you'd like."

"My mom said a lot of bad stuff about him in the divorce," Clarke admits. "She was pissed, I guess. The whole thing was a mess."

"Yeah, I kind of remember. You were at our house all the time because they were fighting."

She nods. "I was too young to really know a lot of it. I knew they had problems, and my mom got full custody, so I just figured she deserved it. But--I found out a few years ago that they weren't really--it wasn't as one-sided as she made it out to be, so I've been trying to reconnect with him. And when he had the heart attack, I didn't really have anything to tie me to the city, Sophie was just finishing up pre-school, and--I liked growing up in a small town, I guess. It felt like a good time to see about raising her somewhere like this."

He nods. "Well, it's cool you're back. And you somehow found a job."

"Nah, I didn't. I'm an illustrator, so I just work remotely. I can do it anywhere. Hence the dog."

"All illustrators have dogs?"

"No, it just means I have time to take care of one."

"Mooooooom," says Sophie, running over to them with the puppies hot on her heels. "They're _friends_ , Mom."

Clarke raises her eyebrows. "They're friends, huh?"

"Yeah! So it would be, you know. It would be _mean_ if we just got one."

Clarke picks herself up off the ground and scoops up Sophie, making her laugh. "It would, huh? So what are you saying?"

"Couldn't we get _both_ dogs?"

She glances at Bellamy, who's watching them with amused interest. He shrugs one shoulder, clearly not wanting to get involved. "I just volunteer," he says. "I cannot advise you on number of pets to adopt."

"Uh huh."

"Seriously, I'm not touching this one with a ten-foot pole."

Clarke sighs. "Soph--"

"I know it's a lot of work," Sophie says, somber. "But don't you think they'd be happier? If we had two? So they can be together when you have to go shopping or somewhere. And I'm at school."

"How big are they going to get?"

"Uh, about--" He looks around. "See the brown and white dog over there? About that big."

She puts Sophie down. "Do you really think you can take care of two dogs? That's twice as much work as one dog, Sophie. And if we can't take care of them, we're keeping them away from someone else who would love them."

Sophie considers this, earnest, as she pets the puppies. They are very, very cute. And they're going to be terrors. But Clarke kind of agrees; it might be nice to have two dogs, especially two dogs who get along. 

So she likes puppies; sue her.

"I'm going to get two dogs, aren't I," she asks Bellamy, leaning in and speaking low, so Sophie won't hear.

"I wasn't gonna say anything," he says, and she smiles.

"I think we can take care of two puppies," Sophie declares. "We just have to get more puppy stuff. We have a really nice yard," she tells Bellamy. "And they can share toys, right? I can teach them how to share."

Bellamy smiling at her daughter might be even worse than Bellamy smiling at her. Or, at least, a different kind of ruinous. "I think you should be telling your mom, not me," he says.

"But you _have_ the puppies," she says.

"That's true, Bellamy. You do have ultimate puppy authority."

"Do I?" he asks, with an unfair raise of his eyebrows. It has been entirely too long since she got laid. That's the only explanation. She should have planned for this. Somehow.

"I think we could handle two puppies," Clarke decides. "If you're willing to part with them."

"I could be persuaded."

Sophie is beaming as another vet gets them squared away. She's a little disappointed neither of the Blakes are helping, but Octavia is advising a family who are looking at kittens and Bellamy has a bunch of people interested in dogs; this is Dr. Jordan's dedicated job. And he's friendly, happy to meet an old friend of Octavia's, full of advice. There is no legitimate reason for disappointment.

She's still thrilled when Bellamy's the one to help them bring stuff to the car.

"I'm going to get a lot more stuff, aren't I?" she asks.

"You did get two dogs," he says. "But I hear they're going to learn how to share."

Clarke has to laugh, and Bellamy grins at her. "They are going to share. Thanks for all your help, Bellamy. It was good to see you again. Tell Octavia too?"

He snorts. "It's a small town, Clarke. It's not like you're never going to see her again. She's your vet. But I'll pass the message along."

"Cool. Then we'll see both of you later. Soph?"

Sophie is distracted by the puppies, of course, but she pulls herself away from the crate long enough to smile at Bellamy. "It was nice to meet you. Thank you for the puppies."

Bellamy gives her a soft smile. "You're welcome. Take good care of them, okay?"

"I will," Sophie promises, and Clarke resists the urge to look in the rearview mirror as they take off.

Or, resists the urge to do it more than twice, anyway.

*

"So, how's Small Town, USA?"

"Small, town, USA," Clarke says, rooting through the fridge. "Basically as expected. Soph likes her grandfather. We have dogs."

Raven huffs. "Seriously, how are you not going to die of boredom?"

"You know like 90% of your social life is on the internet, right? You could live in a yurt and have the same basic life you have now."

"The other 10% is the part where I get laid," Raven points out.

"Yeah, I haven't had that part in years anyway."

"And as soon as you're getting to that part, you skip town."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't pretend like you forgot. We talked about this. I asked when you were going to get back in the saddle, and you said when Sophie started kindergarten."

Clarke blinks a few times. "I genuinely did forget about that. When was this? I think I probably said it to shut you up."

"You definitely did. But I was going to hold you to it, and then you took off. Not part of a master plan, huh?"

"Lucky coincidence." She sighs. "I know you think I don't date because--"

"The first date you went on after your husband died was with my shitty cheating boyfriend?"

"Yeah, and that's bullshit. I'm just--I haven't met anyone in a while," she says, but her voice comes out weird, because, well. She doesn't think Bellamy really counts as meeting someone. It was a chance encounter with an attractive guy she once knew. He was nice and cute with her daughter and she remembers him fondly. 

It's nothing.

But Raven knows her, and her voice hitched.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh my god, you did! Is it a farmer? Does he have a farm? Does she have a farm? How many farms?"

"There's no one."

"There is."

"I used to live here, remember? The vet we got the puppy from is an old friend of mine."

"And you want to bone them."

"Yup, you got me. She's very hot, but probably straight."

There's a pause, and then Raven says, "Nope, bullshit, I don't buy it. That was too easy. There's something else."

"How are you this good at this over the phone?" Clarke asks. "Fine, the vet has a hot older brother, okay? He was volunteering, he helped us pick out puppies, he's still hot and he was really nice to my kid. It's nothing. But, yeah, I was interested. It's not a big deal."

"No," Raven agrees. "It's not. Have you considered really believing it's not a big deal and asking if he wants to get a drink sometime? Because it's one drink. And you should try that."

Clarke blinks. "If it's not a big deal then why are you pushing?" she asks, mostly because she doesn't know how to engage with the question. Raven's _right_ , of course. Asking an attractive guy to get a drink is so fucking normal. But Clarke doesn't know how to do that, really. She wasn't great at that even before she had Sophie, and now--

Well, now, she'll cop to using her daughter as an excuse to get out of uncomfortable questions about her love life.

"Because I think you've got yourself convinced you're happy alone. And you are, fine. But I think you've got this narrative of yourself as someone who doesn't need anyone, and I don't think that's really you. Or--yeah, you don't need anyone. That doesn't mean you wouldn't like to have someone anyway."

It raises a lump in Clarke's throat, all that love and concern. The Finn thing was worse for Raven than it was for Clarke, losing her best friend and long-time boyfriend, while Clarke mostly had a really shitty date. But it was a really shitty date after losing her husband, and even though--Clarke and Sterling definitely wouldn't have gotten married if he hadn't knocked her up, but it wasn't bad, their marriage. And when he died it just seemed so daunting, finding someone new. And she had Sophie.

"What I'm getting from this is that I hooked you up with Wells and now you want to be my guardian angel," Clarke says. 

"Jesus, and I thought I was emotionally repressed," Raven says, but she's teasing. "I'm just saying, Clarke. I know people who aren't in relationships because they really don't want to be in relationships, and that's not you."

"What am I?"

"Tired," says Raven. "Complacent. And kind of--I don't know. You're happy enough, so you don't worry about it. The risk/reward ratio doesn't check out. And that's bullshit, because you've never actually gotten the reward."

"Seriously, is Wells drugging you?"

"I'm self-medicating. It's five o'clock somewhere," Raven says, and Clarke smiles. "Can I talk to the kid?"

"She's with her grandfather."

"He's already taking care of her solo?"

"Yeah, they really hit it off, and I think it's good for both of them. He keeps saying we don't have to be here, and I'm pretty sure it's true, but that's actually great. I'm glad Soph is getting a chance to know her grandfather."

"Since you're not talking to her grandmother anymore?"

"We're still talking."

"Occasionally. Not that I'm saying you should be," she adds quickly. "Using your kid as a pawn in your divorce is fucked up. And, hey, maybe that's a factor in your whole dating disaster too. I don't know."

"Please don't try to figure it out," says Clarke, affectionate. "I've got a lot going on. But I'm not closing myself off to relationships, I promise. I saw a cute boy. If I see him again, we can chat. But it would be weird if I called him up and asked him out."

"That is literally how dating works. That's what dating _is_. Meet someone, ask them out. But whatever. Call me tomorrow so I can make sure I'm still Sophie's favorite, okay?"

"Thanks for checking in, Raven."

She does actually think about calling Bellamy Blake for a second. Not that--she _is_ happy alone. But there's something about the warm, excited feeling of a crush that's a little bit exciting. 

But she doesn't have his number, and for all she knows, he's got a girlfriend or a boyfriend or he isn't interested in either. He was always pretty popular in high school, and he seems like the type who would have settled down.

And it's not like she has his number anyway. But it's a small town.

It can be a possibility. She can handle that.

*

A week after they get the dogs, Clarke runs into Octavia again. She and Sophie are at the park with the puppies when Octavia jogs over. She's got her hair back in a severe ponytail and looks peppy and terrifyingly fit. Clarke doesn't get people who can jog; jogging is horrible.

"Clarke!"

"Hey, good to see you again. Sophie, do you remember my friend Octavia?"

"Hello," says Sophie. "Do you want to meet our puppies?"

"I do, yeah," says Octavia, grinning. "What did you name them?"

"Lilo and Nani," says Sophie. "Because they're sisters."

Octavia grins. "That's one of my favorite movies. And it looks like you're taking really good care of them." She bends down to scratch the puppies behind their ears as they jump all over her. Clarke is working on getting them to jump less; it's a slow process. "And how are you settling in?"

Sophie shrugs. "It's okay. The dogs are good."

"I guess you guys probably aren't meeting many people," Octavia offers, more to Clarke.

"School hasn't started yet, and I haven't figured out good clubs."

"Well, if you're interested in karate, my boyfriend Lincoln teaches a class she could join," Octavia says. "And Bell's got library stuff. We're actually having a cookout tomorrow night, I was going to invite you, but I didn't have your number and trying to google it was just making me feel creepy."

"Are we both invited?" Clarke asks, glancing at her daughter.

"Yeah. Lincoln's daughter will be there, she's a year older than Sophie, and a few other kids too. You can bring the dogs if you want. We've got a giant yard and a ton of food. But obviously if you're busy or just--" She grins. "I'm saying I won't be offended if you don't want to come."

"No, um--that sounds fun."

"Don't be too excited."

"I don't think I've been to a cookout since I moved away from here the first time."

"That just means it's been too long. Here, let me get your number, I'll text you the address. Show up any time after four, but food won't be ready until six."

"Thanks," says Clarke, glancing at Sophie. "Sounds like fun."

Octavia follows her line of sight and offers a small smile. "Like I said, come if you can. And text me! I feel like we should hang out. I assume you're still cool."

Clarke laughs. "I like to think so. I'll text you tomorrow and let you know."

She doesn't bring it up to Sophie until they're having dinner themselves; Sophie tends to be quiet, likes to have time to think things over. Even though she hasn't mentioned it, Clarke knows she's been thinking it over.

"So, do you want to go to a cookout?"

"You do," says Sophie.

"I think it'll be fun. And there'll be some kids there. It would be nice to meet some other kids, right?"

"They're probably already friends with each other," Sophie says.

"Yeah, but you've got two puppies," Clarke points out. "Two puppies are a great ice-breaker." She considers. "We don't have to go, but it might be nice to meet some people before school starts, right? And if it's bad, we don't have to stay. But it's worth going, right? Octavia and Bellamy will be there, they were nice, right?"

"They're grown-ups," says Sophie. 

"I bet Bellamy wants to see the puppies again," Clarke wheedles. "Just to see what good care we're taking of them."

"Can we make cookies to bring?" Sophie asks, and Clarke smiles.

She's still nervous driving over to Octavia and Lincoln's, though. It's a nice place, small house and big yard, a few cars already outside when she gets there, and Clarke feels a flutter of nerves. She has no idea who's going to be there, if anyone else she knew as a kid is even around, but--it's good for both of them. They need to be more social.

Octavia said in her text to just come around back, so Clarke takes the dogs while Sophie takes the cookies, and Clarke offers her kid a smile. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"It'll be fun," Clarke says, as much to reassure herself as Sophie. It _will_. Octavia is cool. Bellamy is cool. Octavia's boyfriend is probably cool. That's at least two people they'll enjoy spending time with, and the dogs will be a good buffer.

Bellamy's the first person to spot them; he's drinking beer and chatting with a couple guys Clarke doesn't recognize, but he raises his bottle in greeting and then excuses himself to come over. He's wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans, and a pair of glasses she didn't see last time. 

He's still _so_ hot.

"Hey, Clarke, hey, Sophie. I'm glad you guys made it. Come on, I'll get you guys set up. Drinks? Let me take those cookies, Sophie. Did you make them?"

"Me and Mom," says Sophie. "They're our specialty," she adds, sounding out the word deliberately and still missing the s. Clarke squeezes her hand.

"Thanks for bringing them. And this must be Lilo and Nani, right? Looks like they're doing really well."

It's a little hypnotic, watching Bellamy with Sophie. It shouldn't be surprising, maybe; he took care of her and Octavia when they were kids, but the effortless way he puts Soph at ease is still a lot to take in. Clarke's not used to watching attractive people charm her daughter.

"Drink, Clarke?" Bellamy asks, pulling her out of her thoughts. "We have soda, beer, water, uh--juice, probably? I don't actually know, it's O's house."

Clarke smiles. "But you're still a co-host?"

"The family that had to go through tons of weird custody stuff together stays together," he says.

"I could have a beer," Clarke decides. "Weird custody stuff?"

"I guess that was after you left." He shrugs one shoulder and hands her a beer. "Our mom died when I was nineteen, I had to jump through a lot of hoops to get custody of O. She basically went off on her own for college and we barely talked for four years, but after that she got enough of total independence and now we're close again." He turns his attention back to Sophie. "That reminds me, you want to meet my niece and her friends?"

"Your niece?"

"Basically, yeah. Lincoln's daughter, Grace. She's six. I think you guys will get along. She'd love to see your puppies."

Sophie smiles a little. "That's what Mom said."

"Puppies are always a crowd-pleaser," he says, and offers Sophie his hand, like it's just his natural impulse. Even more surprisingly, Sophie takes it, and Clarke follows the two of them out in something of a daze.

There's a small group of kids in the yard with an incredibly hot, buff guy, two girls and a boy, all looking within spitting range of Sophie's age. Clarke sees Sophie tense, hang back a little, and Bellamy squeezes her hand.

"They're all cool, I promise. That's Grace, my godson Eli, and my goddaughter Casey. They're my best friend Nate's kids. And they all love puppies."

"They look really nice," Clarke adds, squeezing Sophie's shoulder.

The guy spots them and shakes the tallest girl's arm slowly, pointing them out. Grace is a bright, friendly girl who comes over and starts chattering at Sophie immediately, asking about the dogs and where Sophie is from and how old she is, and Clarke smiles as Sophie blooms in response. She likes meeting people, she's just a little shy.

"You must be Clarke. I'm Lincoln, Octavia's boyfriend," the man says, when Clarke and Bellamy make their way past the kids to him. "I'm glad the two of you could make it."

"Thanks for inviting us. You've got a great place up here."

"I like it, yeah. You can feel free to mingle with adults, I've got an eye on the kids. I know it can be tough, finding time to have a beer and relax."

Clarke smiles. "Thanks for that too."

"Come on," says Bellamy. "I'll introduce you."

Dr. Jordan--Jasper--is there, along with his girlfriend, a quiet girl with dark hair. She meets his best friend Monty, who's married to Bellamy's best friend Nate, as well as Bellamy's best friend Nate, Monroe, who works at the vet with Octavia, Lincoln's coworker Echo, and enough other people that it rapidly becomes overwhelming.

"No one's going to be offended if you forget a name," Bellamy tells her, lightly teasing. Octavia's busy with hostess duties, and Bellamy seems to have decided his job is to make sure Clarke isn't feeling too awkward or out of place. It's a lot of him leaning in closer than she's used to, giving her a strong whiff of his cologne, and, god, she probably _should_ ask him to get a drink. She's pretty sure these are signals he's giving off, and if he wasn't single, he would have introduced his partner right away. He's hot and single and great with her daughter; she'd be an idiot to not say anything.

"I'm just getting used to you and Octavia having a ton of friends."

He laughs. "Yeah, they're mostly hers. She's pretty social when she wants to be. Nate's mine, and so is Roma, by the grill. Basically everyone else is O or Lincoln's."

"Tell me about Lincoln," she says. "He's a lot older than she is."

"He's a year older than I am, yeah. Thirty-four."

"How long have he and Octavia been together?"

"It's complicated. They dated for a while when she was in college and I was pissed. It's part of why she didn't talk to me for a while, but--she was eighteen, he was twenty-four. I didn't care how good a guy he was, it just sounded shitty to me. She told me it was none of my business, and then when they broke up because he got a new job, she didn't want to tell me and--yeah, the whole thing was a mess. I could have done better with it."

Clarke smiles into her beer. "That's pretty far from how I remember you."

"I was seventeen, you were twelve," he says. "I thought I was always right because I was."

"And yet you know exactly what I'm talking about, so I'm pretty sure you know you were wrong a lot."

"Shut up."

Clarke nudges him. "So, Lincoln."

"Yeah, he moved here a couple years ago with Grace. He and her mom tried to make it work, but--she was really career-focused, he was really family-focused, they broke up, she gave up custody of the kid, and he moved here because he wanted to raise her somewhere quiet. He didn't know she was here, but they met up and reconnected, moved in together back in January. He's a great guy."

"That's really sweet."

"Second chances," he says. "It's a thing." He glances at her. "Speaking of which, uh--do you date?"

Clarke blinks, somehow surprised by the question. It's one thing to think he might be into her; it's another for him to actually make a move. "Oh," she says.

"Just curious," he says. His tone is casual, but there's a little color on his neck that gives him away.

"I haven't much," she says. "Recently. My best friend has been hounding me about it."

"What happened with Sophie's dad?"

"He passed away."

"I'm sorry."

Clarke takes a sip of beer. "It wasn't--god, there's no good way to say this, but we got married because we were having a kid. I liked him, he was a good guy, and of course I'm sorry he's dead, but--it feels wrong to say my husband died, you know? It makes it sound like--" She waves her hand. "Like I lost a husband tragically young, and it's _true_ , but not like it could be."

"No, I get it. I got a lot of sympathy when my mom died, but--you remember my mom."

"Yeah," says Clarke. He was raising Octavia long before their mother passed away. "Anyway. A guy asked me out about a year after that, I went on one date, found out he already had a girlfriend, broke it off, and now his ex is dating my best friend. End of recent dating experience. Unless you count failing to flirt with the hot girl who worked at my old coffee shop."

"How hard were you failing?"

"Not quite as hard as I'm failing at this conversation."

"Then I think you were probably being hard on yourself." He smiles. "I just figured I should check. Seemed stupid to be wondering."

"No, I--it's kind of complicated. But I think I'd like to date."

"Me specifically?"

That gets an actual laugh from her. "Yeah, you specifically. If I didn't want to date you, I definitely would have lied and said I didn't want to date at all. To spare your feelings."

"Thanks," he says, dry. "Really." He worries his lip. "So, uh, yeah. If you want to go out sometime, just let me know. I figure your schedule is probably more complicated than mine."

"I still don't even know what you do."

"Yeah, you're pretty self-centered," he teases. "I'm a librarian."

"Really?"

"I had a part-time job there when my mom died, and the head librarian was a friend, so she pulled some strings, got me a full-time thing when I had to drop out of school, and then I just stuck around. I got a few degrees online and stuff, nothing that prestigious, just to increase my payrate. But I like it. I get to work with books and kids, I like books and kids."

Clarke has to smile. "Yeah, I could tell."

"Sophie seems great," he offers. "I was pretty surprised when your dad told me you'd a kid, honestly. You were always so serious, I figured you'd be one of those people with a ten-year plan that didn't involve children for a while. But you guys seem happy."

"Yeah, it kind of derailed me a little. But in a good way. No regrets." She glances at him. "I figured you'd get married early."

"Really?"

"I know you had the kind of, uh--sleeping around reputation, but you seemed like the kind of guy who wanted a family. I figured you'd fall hard at some point."

He ducks his head. "Octavia kind of derailed me from that, I guess. I lost a lot of my prime dating years. I nearly got married when I was twenty-nine, but, uh--she left me at the altar."

"Holy shit, really?"

"I know, who does that? I thought it just happened in bad Lifetime movies. But--yeah. I pretty pissed for a while, and nothing's stuck since then. Unrelated, I think. Just not a lot of dating options around here."

"Wow. That sucks."

He shrugs. "It did, yeah. But probably better to get left at the altar than get married to the person who was thinking about leaving you at the altar."

"True." Clarke pauses, but she can't help bursting out, "No, okay, I need more information on this. Did she tell you why? How do you get to the point of marrying someone and then just not show up?"

He laughs. "Okay, well, it was going to be a pretty small thing. It's not like we had this huge wedding and she bailed on me." He rubs the back of his neck. "I dunno. I said I wanted something small and she just agreed to hit the justice of the peace, which maybe should have been a warning sign? But plenty of people think the wedding industry sucks, so I don't know. We had a big reception planned, but it was mostly my friends coming anyway, so it just turned into a basic pity party."

She bumps her shoulder against his. "That's still shitty."

"Yeah, we don't exchange Christmas cards or anything. She was a local, like me, and she decided if we got married she'd never leave this two-horse town, so she basically woke up on our wedding day, packed up all her stuff, and texted me from the airport to--I don't even remember what she said. I just deleted the texts and blocked her number."

"I don't blame you. I would have too."

He shrugs. "But, yeah, it's been four years. At this point I figure I'm better off. I was freaking out about turning thirty and not being settled down, so--whatever. Probably shouldn't have proposed in the first place."

Clarke's already close, so she presses her shoulder against his again, firmer this time, support. "This one definitely isn't on you, Bellamy."

"Trust me, I'm not crying myself to sleep." His smile is wry. "It's probably kind of like you and your husband, I guess. It sucked, but--even at the time, I wasn't exactly heartbroken. I felt guilty for not being more heartbroken, honestly. I was annoyed. I had to tell everyone."

"Wounded pride?"

"I'm not a totally different guy than I was in high school."

"Good. You were, like, seventy-five percent good guy in high school. I wouldn't want you to give it all up." She realizes she hasn't actually answered his question about dating, not totally, so she glances really, verifies no one is paying attention to them, and gives his hand a quick squeeze. His hand is large and firm, rougher than she'd maybe expect, and the feel of it sends a thrill through her. It's been too long since she did this, and Bellamy is attractive and nice and willing to be openly interested her. It's a lot to take in. "If you give me your number, I can text you about--my schedule? Soph loves my dad, he's been watching her sometimes to make up for lost time, so dinner is probably pretty doable. Maybe next week?"

He squeezes her fingers and then lets go. "Yeah, that sounds good. Let me know."

*

Clarke wants to say Raven is wrong about her dating issues, but after a week, she hasn't actually figured out how to call Bellamy. She managed to text him a couple times, just casual conversation, and they had short, fairly casual exchanges that still had her heart racing.

So she gives up and calls Raven.

"I might have forgotten how to date."

"Understatement. What happened?"

"The guy asked me out."

"And you fell over and died?"

Clarke smiles. "No. He said he'd work around my schedule and I just--what do I do?"

"Pick a night, get dinner."

"I know! I know. But--it just seems like a lot, you know?"

"I try to," says Raven, but her voice is more gentle than mocking. "But, honestly, Clarke--"

Clarke smiles. "Yeah, I know. It's just dinner. I'm having trouble anyway. My dad's always happy to take Sophie, I just need to set a night. It should be so simple."

There's a pause as Raven thinks this over, and then she says, "Tell me about the guy."

Sophie's already asleep, so Clarke pours a glass of wine and flops on the couch. "His name's Bellamy."

"And you knew him when you were a kid, right?"

"Yeah. I was in his sister's class. He's five years older than we are, which was, you know. It's a huge difference when you're twelve and he's the hot guy who begrudgingly gives you rides to the mall, but now he's thirty-three and I'm twenty-eight and who cares, basically."

"And still hot."

"Still hot. And sweet. He's mostly gotten over feeling like he needs to pretend to be an asshole for street cred or whatever, which is a plus. And he's so great with Soph. His sister's boyfriend has a kid he clearly adores, and he's godfather to his best friend's two kids." She rubs her face. "I really _want_ to spend some more time with him, I just--" She lets out a frustrated noise. "I can't just pick up the phone and set up a date, it's so _stupid_."

"Hey, whoa, it's okay," Raven says. "Breathe. You're nervous, it's fine. Is it better if it's not a date?"

"What do you mean?"

"Trying to get to the root of your issue. Is it terminology that's messing you up, or what?"

"No. I just--every time I try to call him, I freeze up."

"Are you going to see him in person any time soon?"

It's a good question; she does a lot better with him in person. In person, he's got a nice smile and warm eyes and he's easy to talk to. "I probably could? He works at the library, and I'd been meaning to get a card. Me and Sophie could go in."

"So do that. Figure out a couple potential date nights, check it with your dad, go to the library and see if you can talk to him."

"I was expecting more mockery," Clarke admits.

"Yeah, that can wait until you _have_ a boyfriend, and he's awesome, and you're happy. Like you make fun of me about Wells."

She has to grin. "Yeah, how's he doing?"

"We both miss you. And Sophie. But we're doing pretty well. You should call him too."

"I do! But he never wants to talk about my love life."

"Yeah, there is no way that's true. He would be all over this shit." There's a pause, and then she says, "I'm glad you're giving this a try. And remember, even if it doesn't work out--"

"I know, dating is still good." She rubs her face. "I think Finn's the only guy I went on a real _date_ with, you know? The whole, like, get dinner and go to a movie thing. High school I was just on--well, the high-school equivalent of Netflix and chill."

"VHS and inexperienced groping?"

"We were mostly on DVD by high-school," Clarke says, smiling. "But yeah. College it was all parties and shit, and then Sterling and I started hooking up, got pregnant, freaked out, and got married."

"So see if he wants to Netflix and chill. Plenty of people like lowkey dates. Wells and I didn't start going out to dinner together to actual restaurants until we'd been together for like two months."

"Yeah, okay." She scrubs her face. "I'm ready for this, right?"

"Do you like the guy?"

"Yeah."

"If he comes over, do you think he'd make out with you?"

A hot rush of anticipation rushes through Clarke. It's been way too long since she got action of any kind, and Bellamy has that mouth and those arms and his fucking _hands_ \--

"Probably."

"And that sounds good?"

"Really good."

"Think you could tell him if you were feeling weird about the whole thing?"

She considers. "Yeah, I think I could. I already told him about Sterling, and--it's weird. We were never friends or anything, but I always trusted him. And I still do."

"Then, yeah, I think you should go for it. He knows you have a kid, so she won't scare him off. He asked you, so you know he's interested. Take it slow or whatever, but don't talk yourself out of it, okay? Not without an actual good reason."

She exhales. "Thanks, Raven. Really."

"Hey, I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry I'm kind of--I don't have any _reason_ to be a mess."

"I figured it was just natural talent," Raven teases. "You're fine. You've got a good job, a nice house, an awesome kid, two dogs. You're good, okay. If I had all that going, I'd probably be scared of screwing it up too. But it'd be nice to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, right?"

When she closes her eyes, she can picture the curve of Bellamy's smile. "Yeah, it would."

"So go get him."

*

She calls her dad the next night and says, "Are you pretty free this week?"

Clarke was always close to her father than her mother, before the divorce. Until she started noticing the cracks in her parents' marriage, she'd honestly had a pretty idyllic childhood, and she just assumed they'd work it out.

Instead, everything went wrong, everything was awful, and she didn't see her father for almost fifteen years. She knows it wasn't her fault, but she still blames herself, for not having probed harder, for not having realized sooner there must have been two sides to the divorce, and that it was unfair of her mother to make her a casualty of it.

"Pretty free," says Jake. "I've got work, of course, and a doctor's appointment on Wednesday afternoon. Why?"

She takes a breath, lets it out slowly. "I wanted to go on a date. I was thinking of trying for Thursday, but I wanted to have some flexibility. Could you take Soph?"

"A date, huh?" he asks, teasing. "Anyone I know? Upstanding young man? Or, um, woman?"

He's getting used to the bi thing, and it makes her feel so _warm_. Most of her serious relationships have been with men, and so her mother keeps assuming her bisexuality is just a phase she's gotten over. It's nice to have a parent who's trying, even if he's still figuring it out.

"You probably know him. I assume you know everyone. But, um--Bellamy Blake? I was friends with his sister when we were kids."

"Hm."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything. I was acknowledging the information. I do know Bellamy. He works at the library, doesn't he?"

"Yeah."

"He brought me a few books when I was in the hospital."

It makes Clarke's heart pound strangely, thinking of him hearing her dad was in the hospital and going over. "Really?"

"Apparently I'm one of the holdouts of the library system. I go in every Monday. Saw him today, in fact. But when I didn't make it for my usual visit after the heart attack, yes. Bellamy came by to bring me some new releases to keep me occupied. And he'd ask about you, from time to time."

"Oh."

"That didn't sound creepy, does it? It wasn't, he was making conversation. I'd ask after his sister, he'd ask after my daughter."

"I assume you weren't pimping me out and he didn't sound like he was stalking me, so, no, not creepy." She worries her lip and asks, "He's a good guy?"

"I think so. I've always liked him."

"So you think you can take Soph for a date night?"

"Sure, just let me know."

Once she's told her dad and he's approved, she really has no more excuses to _not_ talk to Bellamy, so the next day she and Sophie take the dogs for a walk, put them in the back yard, and head down to the library. Sophie's almost as big a fan of books as she is of puppies, and she's pretty excited for the library visit. Clarke feels a little guilty for not having taken her sooner; they've been busy settling in, but she really _should_ get her daughter signed up for more activities. She likes Grace and started doing karate with her, and she's got a planned play date with Eli and Casey, but it's still a lot of her hanging out at home so far.

Bellamy isn't at the desk when they get in, but Clarke recognizes the other librarian as Jasper's girlfriend from the party, so at least she's cool. Clarke can't remember her name, of course, but that's not going to get any less awkward, so she and Sophie head up anyway and Clarke gives her a warm smile.

"Hi," says the woman. "It's Clarke, right? And Sophie?"

"Yeah. I'm so sorry, I know we were introduced, but--"

She smiles. "No, it's fine. You met like twenty people, I met one. And I know your dad. I'm Maya Vie."

"Nice to meet you again, Maya." She squeezes Sophie's hand. "We were interested in getting library cards."

"Please," Sophie adds, with a small smile.

"Yeah, of course. But--"

Sophie looks so horrified that Maya nearly laughs, and Clarke has to bite back on a smile too.

"Nothing bad!" Maya hastens to add. "It's just almost noon. Bellamy's doing a reading, they're usually pretty fun. I just thought you might want to do that first and sign up for your cards after."

Clarke feels her pulse pick up again at the mention of him, feels _ridiculous_. She squeezes Sophie's hand and tries to ignore it. "What do you think? Want to listen to Bellamy read?"

"Yeah!"

"Where's that?"

"Children's section, in the back. There should already be a group waiting, you can't miss it. I'll have the forms ready for you when you're done."

"Thanks," says Clarke, and lets Sophie tug her back. Her daughter has an instinctive ability to find the books she wants that's honestly uncanny, and, as usual, it doesn't let her down. She leads Clarke unerringly to the back, where Bellamy's already chatting with another parent.

He's dressed for work, which Clarke hasn't seen before, a crisp white shirt and slacks, all hard lines, and she has a moment of sheer disbelief that this guy wants to go out with _her_.

Sophie manages to wait until the other woman's done before pulling Clarke over and tugging on Bellamy's pant-leg. "Hi!"

He grins at Sophie and then gives Clarke a softer smile, a different kind of fond. "Hey, Sophie! Are you guys here for the reading?"

"We're here to get library cards," says Sophie, somber. Library cards are serious business.

"Maya told us we shouldn't miss this, though," Clarke adds. "Hey, Bellamy."

"Hi, it's good to see you guys." He bites his lip, like he wants to say something more, but he settles for, "I'm starting in just a minute, you should find a seat."

Sophie selects the closest spot they can fit in, and Clarke idly wonders if her _kid_ kind of has a crush on Bellamy. Not that she'd blame her; kids get little crushes all the time, and Bellamy's a pretty great target, a nice adult who pays attention to her. But she really hopes whatever it is peters out before she's introducing him as her boyfriend.

Not that she's necessarily going to do that. It could fizzle long before they get to that stage. They haven't even gone on a date yet. But--Clarke's still really hoping it's going to be something real. And it's still kind of terrifying.

He's a good reader, which shouldn't surprise her. She remembers going to a couple plays he was in when he was a kid, and he's a natural performer. Now that he's older, he's lost some of the self-consciousness she remembers, and he just throws himself into it, doing all the voices and everything. It's really, stupidly cute.

He gets a throng of people wanting to chat afterward, and it's strange, almost surreal, to watch him interacting with them, just because he's just as nice and charming as he is when he talks to her and Sophie, but she can tell there's something missing, the spark of interest she sees whenever he looks at her. It's even more obvious when he catches her eye as she goes to leave, giving her this half smile she _knows_ means, "Sorry, don't go."

He really likes _her_. At least some of those women are probably single mothers, judging from how much they're flirting. She hopes they are, otherwise it's creepy. But she's the one he wants to talk to.

She mouths, _Library cards_ , and jerks her head to the desk, and his smile is relieved. 

Her odds of getting to nail down dinner with him seem pretty good.

Sophie pulls her back to the main desk, and even enthuses a little when Maya asks how the reading was. She's going to have to google _what to do if my small child has an adorable crush on the guy I want to date_ later. 

They're mostly done with the library cards when Bellamy finds them again. Sophie is writing her name on hers with intense precision, and Bellamy takes the opportunity to slide his hand into Clarke's and squeeze gently before he lets go. "Hey."

"Hey. Good job with the reading. You always did have a flare for drama."

He grins. "I'm just using my natural talents. How are you?"

"We're good. Once Sophie's done with her card we're going to find some books for her to check out. Any recommendations?"

"So many," he says, grinning, and Clarke has to grin back. It is a thousand times better actually talking to him than it is texting him. And, as stupid as it was, some part of Clarke was definitely worried about--everything, honestly. That he didn't really like her that much, that he wouldn't mind if she never set a date. All these irrational things that disappeared as soon as she saw how happy he was to see her.

"What kinds of books do you like, Sophie?" he continues.

"The one you read was really good!" she says. "You're a good reader."

"Thanks. I get to practice a lot. I read every Tuesday at noon over the summer, if you guys want to make it a regular thing." His eyes flick to Clarke. "Do you usually get books to read by yourself, or books for your mom to read to you?"

"Both," says Clarke. "We just finished _Ramona the Pest_ , there are like fifteen more of those, right?"

He laughs. "Yeah, I think I can find you a couple more. Come on, let's see what we've got."

Sophie is always good at being vocal about her book preferences, so Clarke takes a back seat as tells Bellamy she wants good books with nice pictures and about _girls_. She checks out the library instead, which has changed a little since she left, smiles at the displays of staff picks, leaning down to read the ones written in Bellamy's still-familiar scrawl.

"I want these," Sophie tells her, pulling her from her thoughts, and Clarke checks the titles, nods her approval, and says, "Do you want to go sit on the bean bag chair and read for a little while? I need to talk to Bellamy about something."

He stuffs his hands in his pockets, rocking a little on his heels, watching with her as Sophie goes. "Is this where you tell me you changed your mind?" he asks, voice deliberately light.

"No, it's where I tell you I'm kind of a mess. I don't really know why. It's just been a while and I was having trouble just--calling you. I was hoping it would be easier in person."

"And?"

She grins. "So much easier."

"Awesome."

"So, Thursday? Would Thursday work for you?"

"Thursday works for me, yeah. Where do you want to go? There are only like five restaurants in this town, so--"

She laughs. "There are at least ten, don't whine. But, um--I was kind of hoping you'd be willing to do something a little less formal? Maybe just come hang out at my place? Actual dinner-and-a-movie dates always seem kind of weird to me. I'd rather just hang out."

She can see him exhale his relief, and it's so fucking _cute_. Bellamy Blake likes her. It's as awesome as it is bizarre. "Yeah, no, that sounds great. I'd love to come over. Just let me know where you live and if I should bring anything. I could pick up takeout or whatever."

Clarke laughs, nudges him with her shoulder. "Sorry I made you nervous."

"No, it's cool. I just sort of wondered if _I don't want to go out with you after all_ was an in-person conversation."

"Probably, yeah. But not the one I wanted to have." She smiles at her daughter, already engaged in flipping through one of the books. "You're really good with Sophie. I think she's getting a crush."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"Very in-demand?"

He shrugs. "Kids love me. It's a gift."

"Moms seem pretty fond of you too," she teases.

"I can't tell if that's you saying you're into me or trying to probe if I ask out all the single moms I know," he says, with the same amused tone she used.

"How many single moms do you know?"

"Is it weird that's not something I track? I have no idea. I pretty much only try to find out if I think I'd be interested in dating them. For, uh, unrelated reasons. It's not like I just date single moms. That is not my type." 

He scrubs his hand over his face, and she laughs. "Smooth. Very smooth."

"It was a trap. You set me up."

"You figured out my evil plot." She bites her lip. "I am into you," she tells him, soft. "It's just been a while for me."

"Cool," he says. "So, yeah. Thursday. I'm done with work at five-thirty, so--like six?"

"Yeah. I'll text you details."

He glances at Sophie, making sure she's occupied, before he leans down and presses his lips against her cheek. "See you Thursday, Clarke."

*

She's not nearly as nervous as she expects to be on Thursday. She gets a good deal of work done while Sophie reads to the puppies, drops her off with her grandfather as soon as he's finished with his stuff for the day, and texts Bellamy food preferences at five. 

Then she changes into a nice skirt and blouse, just because it _is_ a date. She can dress up a little. It's casual, but it's still a big deal.

The dogs announce Bellamy before he shows up, a chorus of excited barking, and he's laughing when she opens the door for him. He's dressed in work clothes again, a blue button-down this time, and gray slacks, and Clarke tugs him in by the front of his shirt to kiss him.

He makes a soft noise of surprise, but by the time she's pushed the door closed behind him so the dogs don't get out, he's already kissing her back, one hand sliding into her hair, mouth hot and firm against hers, and, god, she has _missed_ this, the giddy rush of attraction, the heat of another person against her, the feeling of wanting and being wanted.

"Hi," he says, brushing his nose against her jaw. "I guess you're happy to see me."

"You look really nice in blue," she says.

"Noted." He gives her one more small, quick kiss, and then pulls back with a smile. "Nice place, by the way."

"Thanks. We're still kind of settling in, but Soph and the puppies are helping out by leaving toys and hair everywhere, so it looks really lived in."

"You should write a book with decorating tips," he teases. "I got Chinese, as requested. And beer, just in case. I didn't know if you had to pick Sophie up, or when, so--just drink it or hoard it, up to you."

She smiles. "Thanks for--putting in the effort."

"What effort, exactly?" he asks, and he sounds genuinely confused.

"I know dating single moms is your thing," she says, and he groans, good-natured. "But I'm being kind of weird, so--"

"Uh huh. You're being honest, telling me what you want, and making out with me on your doorstep. Literally none of this is a hardship. I wasn't even nervous when you didn't tell me when you wanted to go out." He grins. "It was _a week_. You have a kid. I remember how hard it was for O and Lincoln to coordinate when they started dating. Hell, Octavia was basically an independent human by the time I got custody of her and it still fucked up my dating life."

"So, thinking I'm bad at dating is making me good at dating? That's what I'm hearing."

He kisses her cheek. "Don't sweat it. I like you. Where am I putting food?"

They get set up in the living room, casual like Clarke almost never is anymore, takeout cartons in front of the TV. It's like the nights she got off and would hang out with Raven, except she's sitting a lot closer to Bellamy and has a significantly higher chance of getting to make out after dinner.

"So, I hear you visited my dad in the hospital," she tells him, once they're settled in.

"And it was before I even knew you were moving back, so it wasn't even part of a ploy to impress you." He steals one of her dumplings. "I like your dad. We're not best buddies or anything, but he's a cool guy. And I was stuck in the hospital for a couple days last year for an appendectomy, I got so fucking bored. I figured he wouldn't mind something to do."

She rests her head on his shoulder. "At what point did you stop pretending to not be a nice guy?"

"Around when I graduated from high school. I realized people still thought I was cool if I wasn't always a dick, so I figured I could switch it up a little sometimes."

"Just sometimes."

"Honesty is the best policy, right?"

"That's what I hear." She pauses, but she has to ask, "Is it weird for you?"

"That is way too broad a question."

"I was twelve last time you saw me, and now we're on a date."

"Well, it's been sixteen years. I knew you were an adult by now. You're Octavia's age, and she's going to be engaged as soon as Lincoln gets his nerve up. And I always liked you. Not, like--I wasn't going to ask you out or anything, but you were cool and I liked spending time with you and O. But you moved away before I would have been willing to admit it."

"Well, I thought you were hot," Clarke teases.

"You clearly had excellent taste." His hand slides under the hem of her shirt, just barely, not quite even flirting, just absent affection. "I knew from your dad you had a kid and her father wasn't in the picture anymore. It's hard to not update your mental image of someone past twelve when you find that out. And then you showed up at the vet's and you were, uh--"

"I was?" she prompt.

"Yeah, you're gorgeous," he says, laughing. "And you're still cool, so, yeah. It's not weird for me. It's pretty awesome, so far."

Clarke hides her smile in her rice.

After dinner, he asks, "So, when are you picking up Sophie? Do we have time for a movie, or is this more of an episode of Arrested Development kind of date?"

"What time is it?"

"Uh, like--six-forty-five?" he says, checking his phone. "Also, Octavia says hi and that you shouldn't let my nerdiness scare you off."

"I'm glad she texts you messages for me even though she has my number," Clarke says, settling in against his side. He's warm and firm and familiar enough that it doesn't feel strange being close to him this early. "I usually get her around eight or nine, Dad was assuming nine today. So if you want to do a movie, we have time."

"Or four episodes of Arrested Development," he says, navigating to Netflix. "Whichever."

They bicker over movies for a while, easy and fun, Bellamy vetoing things for the most ridiculous reasons he can think of, until Clarke finally says, "Or we could watch four episodes of Arrested Development," and he says, "Wow, what a brilliant idea."

It's nice, easy, comfortable. All the things Clarke wants relationships to be and never quiet manages. The last time she tried to have a casual thing with a guy, she ended up pregnant. And this doesn't feel casual in the same way, because it's clear Bellamy is looking for a relationship, something serious, and she is too, but it doesn't feel like an audition or anything. Just like--old friends trying something new.

Clarke's the one making all the first moves, which is both thrilling and kind of annoying all at once. When she leans her head against his chest, he takes it as a sign he can stroke his thumb against her side. When she nuzzles his neck, he kisses her hair. It clear that anything she wants, she's going to have to initiate, so at the start of the third episode, she leans up to kiss him.

His hand tangles in her hair again, and his mouth is warm and open under hers, his chest firm as she presses in against him. He kisses her slow and sweet, letting her take the lead, and she feels like she's melting into him.

They make out for the whole episode without going any further, no one losing clothes or letting their hands wander too far, and she doesn't even realize it until the peppy credits music startles her away from him. 

He grins. "What?"

"Nothing," she says, shaking her head. "One more episode, right?"

"Yeah," he says, and tugs her back in.

*

She feels a little guilty when she goes to pick up Sophie, just because she's not used to not telling her daughter things. She was young enough when the Finn thing happened that it didn't come up, but Sophie knows and likes Bellamy, and it feels weird staying quiet about him. But she has no idea how Sophie will take it, or even how it's going to shape up. She likes him, he likes her, but she doesn't know what happens now, other than more dates and more kissing and then--well, it's been so fucking long. The course of relationships is a mystery to her.

But she still likes him enough that she feels bad not telling Sophie.

They get another date in on Saturday, when Lincoln and Octavia invite Sophie and the dogs over for a play date. "It's like half because my brother won't shut up about you and half because we want your kid to have some friends," Octavia says, shameless.

"So, you're equally worried about my five-year-old daughter and your thirty-three-year-old brother in terms of ability to manage their own social lives?" Clarke asks.

"Oh, no, I'm way more worried about Bellamy. Sophie could grow into being competent."

Bellamy lives in the same house he and Octavia lived in when they were kids, but it's been refurbished a lot, and new coats of paint and a deck added on the back. It's a nice place, but she doesn't get a tour or anything; instead, as soon as she shows up, Bellamy throws a pair of gloves at her.

"This is a new one for me," she says.

"It's Saturday, I have to do some yard work," he says. "I figure if you're not into traditional dates, I might as well lean into non-traditional ones. It'll only take like an hour."

"Second date and you've already got me on manual labor?" she teases, but it's actually a lot of fun. Bellamy's got a lot of weird plants he apparently cares about deeply, and he explains what they are and where they came from as he and Clarke weed and prune and care for them. Plus, he ends up getting really sweaty and dirty, and Clarke ends up jumping him as soon as he leads her inside for lunch.

"I can't believe that worked," he teases, sliding his arms around her and nipping gently at her neck. 

"Don't tell me you made me do garden work for an hour just so I'd make out with you. You could have just said, _hey, Clarke, want to make out_?"

"Huh. That does sound a lot easier." She hears him swallow, and she pulls back to regard him. He gives her a small smile. "Just, uh--we should probably talk? About what we're looking for. Make sure we're on the same page before--" He cuts himself off with a shrug, and she smiles.

"Yeah," she agrees. "Lunch?"

They get mostly cleaned up and Bellamy makes sandwiches, and once they're sprawled on his couch to eat them, she nudges his foot and says, "I want to date you."

"Cool. I want to date you too."

"I don't know, uh--I have no idea what pace I want to take it at. I haven't told Sophie yet, I don't know when I'm supposed to. But I like you, and I want to be serious about this."

He kisses the corner of her mouth. "That's most of what I wanted to know. I'm not really--I did the casual sex thing for a while, it's not really for me. I like you, but I know Sophie comes first, and everything's going to be, uh--pacing is weird. Generally. So just let me know what you need."

She smiles a little at that. "That's it?"

"Basically. Obviously if I'm, I dunno. I'll let you know if I need anything too, but I'm probably good."

"You don't mind slow?"

"I'm getting the impression we can make out as much as I want."

"Probably."

"I assume at some point I get you naked."

"Good bet."

"Yeah, I'm fine." He presses a kiss to her shoulder. "I'm not going to say I know exactly what I'm getting into, but--I want to find out. And I'm not in a rush."

"Cool," she says, and pulls him to her once they're done with lunch. They make out on his couch like teenagers all afternoon and it makes something huge fill up Clarke's chest, the way it feels to be with him.

On her way to pick up Sophie, she remembers what Raven said, that she didn't know the reward could be good enough to be worth the risk. 

Thinking of Bellamy's hands tracing up her ribs, his mouth against her jaw, her neck, the warmth in his eyes every time he looks at her, Clarke can't help thinking she might have had a point.

*

They fall into a strange kind of routine. Clarke's dad had already been taking Sophie once a week, so they just coordinate to make sure it's a night Bellamy is free. They go to the library for Tuesday read-aloud and then stick around after for Bellamy to give Sophie book recommendations and chat with her about her life. She's doing karate with Grace and Eli, and she's clearly starting to feel at home here.

Clarke is too, which is kind of overwhelming. Octavia has bi-weekly cookouts, and her dad has her and Sophie over for dinner on Sundays. Work is going well. She has an actual _boyfriend_ , one who's sweet and smart and kind of a sarcastic dickhead half the time, but never when it matters.

According to Raven's wikipedia research, they've only gotten to second base even though they've been dating for two months, which Raven thinks is pathetic, and Clarke is, slowly, coming to agree. Not because she's in a hurry, just because, well, it's ridiculous how she's still getting herself off when she has a hot boyfriend who could be doing it for her.

"I really think this is a Raven conversation," Wells hedges, when she tells him as much.

"It's almost like I called Raven and you picked up her phone."

"Just to say hi! I didn't expect you to open with _Fuck, I need to get laid_ before I even said anything."

Clarke grins. "Well, I do."

"Again, this is a Raven conversation, but you do have a boyfriend, right? I assume getting laid should be an option."

"Yeah, but--he can't stay the night or anything. I'm not really looking forward to sleeping with him and sending him home."

"Still haven't told Sophie?"

"I don't know how. I like him, but--she likes him too. I don't want her to get her hopes up about keeping him and then we break up."

"Yeah, that's always going to be a factor. It's still going well though, right?"

"It is. He's great. It's probably good I have Sophie, or I would have gotten totally carried away."

Wells laughs. "There are a lot worse things than getting carried away, you know. If you like him and he likes you, going with it isn't bad. And he seems to like you. Raven showed me some pictures of you guys, he looks totally gone for you."

Clarke's smile is ridiculously soppy, she knows. "He does like me. His sister calls to gossip about it. It's all very high-school, except I have a kid and I would definitely be getting laid if it was high school."

"Again, I'm not convinced you couldn't be getting laid right now. But here's Raven, tell her all about your sex life."

"Love you too," Clarke says.

"Did you get a sex life? Finally?" Raven demands. "And, yeah, Wells loves you, whatever. Did you finally fuck your boyfriend?"

"No, but I want to. Or at least get naked and fool around."

"I can't believe it's been almost two months and you haven't seen him naked. I'm in a happy, monogamous, sexually fulfilling relationship and _I_ want to see him naked." She hears Wells' vague _Hey!_ in the background, but Raven just shushes him. "You do too, it's fine."

"It's like the first date problem all over again. I don't know how to just say it."

"Obviously I'm a big fan of enthusiastic consent, but I think if you just go for his jeans next time you're making out, he'll probably get the message."

"I know. But--then we're done and he has to leave," she admits. "And that sucks. I don't like sending him home now, it's going to be so much worse when we're post-coital. But even once I tell Sophie, I think it's going to be a while before we're ready for sleepovers. I could send her to my dad's overnight sometime, but, one, I'd feel like an asshole, and two, then my dad would know I'm giving him my kid so I can get laid."

"Okay, one, he probably already thinks you're getting laid, if he's thinking about it. You're an adult, you're in a serious relationship. Two, does Sophie like hanging out with your dad?"

"Yeah."

"Does she seem like she's sad she's seeing him as often as she does?"

"No."

"So ask if she wants to do a sleepover sometime. If she says yes, you're golden. If she doesn't, figure something else out. You're a good mom, Clarke. You're going to keep being a good mom even if you get a boyfriend and sleep with him. And even if you tell her and you guys break up and Sophie gets hurt. You're a good mom, and you'll be fine."

"Okay," says Clarke, letting out a breath. "Okay. Yeah. Thanks. That really helped."

"I should come down for a visit, I'd have all your shit figured out in, like, ten minutes."

"You should. It's only a four-hour drive, you guys could come for the weekend, Soph would love to see you." There's a knock on the door, and she yells, "It's open!" and then adds, to Raven, "Speaking of, there's the boyfriend."

"Awesome, get some. And, yeah, visiting would be cool. I'll talk to Wells. Call me later."

"Will do."

Bellamy leans down for a brief kiss, but he's already on the way into the kitchen with groceries. He hates most of the takeout options in town, so he tends to just cook for her, which is _awesome_. Clarke has no idea how he got to thirty-three without anyone else realizing how great he is, but she's not going to complain.

"Raven?" he asks, when she gets into the kitchen, and she just wraps her arms around him and rests her cheek on his back. "Or, uh--bad news? Hi, everything okay?" He twists around so he can hug her, and Clarke smiles.

"I love you and I want to tell Sophie we're dating," she says. "Sorry if that's soon, I just--"

"Oh." He squeezes her. "No, it's fine. I love you too. But, seriously, is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Honestly, this was supposed to be a conversation about how I want to have sex with you, but I got kind of derailed. I just--I really like you, I hate feeling like I've got part of my life with you and part of my life with Sophie and they can't ever meet."

He cups her jaw, tilting her face up for a light kiss. "Yeah, that sounds pretty miserable," he says, eyes soft. "And I kind of--" He laughs. "I want to touch you every time I see you, I hate checking to see no one's paying attention. I'll do it for as long as you need, but, yeah. If you're ready to tell her, I support that. And, uh, also sex. Not to be shallow, but--I definitely want to have sex with you too."

"I hadn't noticed," she teases, and he kisses her again before letting her go.

"I'm really subtle about it," he agrees, going back to the groceries. "Like a sex ninja."

"That's not really what I imagine a sex ninja being."

"Huh. Tell me more about these sex-ninja fantasies," he says, and Clarke bumps his shoulder. He grins. "Anyway, yeah. Just tell me what you need." There's a pause, and he adds, "That was supposed to be supportive about you telling Sophie, not related to sex ninjas or other fantasies."

Clarke laughs and rests her head on his shoulder. "You're ridiculous."

"Yeah. But you already said you love me. Too late to get out of it now."

After dinner, she takes him up to her room for the first time, because there's no way she's hooking up with him on the couch where her daughter watches TV. Bellamy's slow and easy about it, like he is about everything, poking around her room and critiquing the decor until Clarke laughingly tackles him onto her bed. She kisses him long and wet and eager, grinding down shamelessly against him, lit up with want.

"How long's it been?" he asks, tugging her shirt off. "Did you get to sleep with Raven's ex?"

She laughs against his neck. "I didn't. It's been so embarrassingly long."

"Don't be embarrassed, I'm just curious."

"Since before Sterling died. It's just--it's so much work, finding the time and someone I want to sleep with and--"

He kisses her again, gentle, and rolls them over so he's on top of her. "Like I said, don't be embarrassed," he says, nuzzling her jaw. "Just checking."

"What about you?"

"A couple years."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like casual sex anymore, I don't meet a lot of people I like, and my hand works fine so who cares?" He nips her collarbone gently. "Don't judge."

"I'm not, I just--" She laughs, tugging his shirt off and pulling him up for another kiss. "I know why I'm single, I have no idea why you are."

"I got picky," he says, and slides his mouth down to her breasts before she can formulate a response.

Bellamy's played with her breasts before, but usually just absent groping while they're making out. This is him settling in and exploring, mapping every inch of her with his mouth and tongue and teeth, like he's trying to memorize how she feels and tastes.

"Jesus, Bellamy," she gasps, when she's so wet she can't even think straight. She yanks him up by the hair and rolls them over so she can grind her hips against his thigh, desperate for friction.

"Sorry," he says, with a smile that shows no remorse. "I love your breasts."

"I noticed." She kisses him again, less desperate. "Is just, um--I don't want you to actually fuck me until you can stay the night, but--hands or mouth or--"

"Yeah," he says, fingers going for the fly of her jeans and yanking them down and off, taking her underwear with them. The first touch of his fingers against her bare skin makes her gasp, the perfect rough pressure of them just as good as she's been imagining. "Fuck," he says, against her throat. "You're so fucking wet."

"Duh," she says, because any other response is way too complicated right now.

He laughs. "Yeah, okay. Awesome."

His fingers slide in her easily, and his thumb works her clit in firm circles. She finds his mouth without any trouble, and his kiss is surprisingly gentle, coaxing.

He loves her. It's really fucking obvious.

She's almost disappointed by how quickly she comes the first time, just because, well, she's been waiting so fucking long, she would have liked to enjoy it longer, but Bellamy just slides down and presses teasing kisses against her thighs, rubbing her entrance with one long finger. He takes his time with her, drawing the orgasm out until she's panting and gasping and coming apart against his mouth, and when she finally recovers, he's grinning at her, smug.

"Good?" he asks, and she drags him down to kiss her again.

It's a group effort to get his jeans off, and her fingers are clumsy around him first, nervous and rusty, but he nuzzles her neck and tells her how good she feels until her confidence returns, and then he's swearing against her neck and thrusting into her fingers, desperate.

When he slumps back on the bed next to her, sated, she can't help feeling a rush of pride.

"How did we wait that long?" he asks, throwing his arm over his eyes as he recovers his breath.

Clarke curls up against his side, wrapping around him. "I knew you'd have to leave after."

He presses his lips to her hair. "Way to kill the mood," he teases, but he fumbles around, finds his jeans, and checks his phone. "I'm leaving at 8:45, right?"

"Yeah," she says, tightening her arms around him.

"I'll set an alarm." He tugs her closer. "You've got me for another hour. It's not perfect, but--plenty of time to bask in the afterglow."

She smiles into his shoulder. "I'm working on sleepovers too. She might like sleepovers with my dad."

"Mmm," he agrees, mostly into her hair. "Keep me posted."

*

School's started, which means Clarke has more time to herself in the day, but also kind of misses her daughter. A lot. The puppies help, all enthusiasm and rough-housing and affection, but Clarke's been working at the library on afternoons with her laptop. It's not really time with Bellamy, but she needs to pick Sophie up anyway, and the library's close to the school. Plus, when he has breaks, he spends them with her, which is nice.

She almost skips out the day after they have sex, but--well, he's in love with her, she's in love with him, of course she wants to see him. The nervousness she's feeling is probably anticipation as much as anything.

He gives her a broad smile and a quick kiss when she comes in, his standard greeting, and comes to sit with her when she's been there for an hour. They're not exactly a secret, they're just keeping quiet. 

"Hi," she says. Her smile must be ridiculous. She doubts anyone is paying attention to whether or not she's slept with Bellamy Blake, but if they are, they probably know she has now.

"Hey. How's work?"

"Pretty good," she says, showing him the piece she's working on. "You?"

"Slow. I'm really ready for the weekend."

She worries her lip. "Yeah, about that. I was thinking I could tell Soph tonight? And then you could maybe come by tomorrow, see how she does with you as my boyfriend?"

"If you think she's ready, yeah." He squeezes her hand. "Seriously, if she needs time, I won't be offended. I know you haven't done the significant other thing with her before."

"We've talked about it in the abstract. You know, how she doesn't have a dad anymore but someday I might meet a boy or a girl I like and want to date, and we'd see if she liked them too. And she does like you, I know that. But, yeah, it's new."

Bellamy kisses her temple. "It might take a while. We'll figure it out, okay?"

"Do you want to be a dad?" she asks, soft. He's so good with kids, she knows it's not a deal-breaker, but--she kind of needs to hear him say it.

"Yeah," he says, no hesitation. "I've always wanted kids." There's a pause, and when she glances at him, he's looking resolutely at his hands. "I want to be your kid's dad specifically, too."

She closes her eyes, lets herself lean on him for just a second. "I'll see how it goes."

"I'll keep tomorrow free," he says. "Just in case."

He goes back to work and so does Clarke, at least until her phone buzzes in her pocket to remind her to pick up Sophie. She gives him a last, lingering kiss on her way out, and it feels stupidly like goodbye. It's not, she doesn't think, but--she doesn't know how to predict this conversation. She knew when she told Sophie they were moving out here what her daughter would say, all the reasons she'd be upset, but telling her about Bellamy is uncharted territory. She can't begin to imagine how Sophie will feel about another adult in her life, an adult her mother loves, an adult who might, someday, be another parent. And she can't even tell if it'll help that it's Bellamy, someone she's already familiar with.

She picks up ice cream, just in case. It's not a bribe; it's for her. In case everything is fucking awful.

After dinner, she pull her daughter into her lap and says, "Do you remember how we talked about me dating? How I might meet someone I liked someday and I might want you to meet them?"

"Yeah."

"Well, um. I did. Meet someone."

Sophie squirms around in her arms to look at Clarke. "When?" she asks, suspicious.

"When we first moved. I wanted--" She sighs. "I thought I should wait to tell you until I was sure it was going to be--" Explaining things to five-year-olds is terrible, but at least the explanations get easier every year. Probably in thirty years or so, she'll be able to talk to Sophie about anything. "You know how you can meet someone, and like them, and then find out they're kind of mean? Like Allie T in preschool."

Sophie scowls; Allie T had been her friend for three weeks and then drew on one of Sophie's My Little Ponies. The falling out had been epic, at least in preschool terms. "Yeah."

"It's like that. I wanted to make sure we were going to keep dating."

"And you are?"

"At least for a while. It might not be forever, but--I like him a lot. And you do too."

It's maybe not the right thing to say; Sophie looks even more suspicious. This might not be going well. "I do?"

"Yeah. It's, um--it's Bellamy. From the library."

"Oh," says Sophie.

"He asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him, and I said yes. We've been seeing each other for a couple months, just--when we have time. I really like him a lot."

Sophie slumps against her chest, but she looks thoughtful, not upset. Clarke wraps her arms around her daughter and holds on.

"I know this is weird," she says. "And maybe I should have told you right when we started going out, but I thought--I didn't want to make a big deal if it didn't turn out to be anything."

"Is he gonna live with us?" asks Sophie. "Like Octavia lives with Lincoln and Grace."

"Maybe someday," Clarke says. "But that's kind of--people date to find out if they want to do stuff like that. Living together and getting married and having kids. It's a little more complicated for me because I have a kid already." She kisses Sophie's hair. "And it matters a lot to me that you're okay with something like that. But--I think we should try it. He's pretty cool, right?"

"What would we do?"

"He'd come over and spend time with us. He could help walk the dogs sometimes, or maybe read to you. He's a really good cook, he could make us dinner."

"And he'd kiss you and stuff?"

Clarke has to smile, but she hides it in Sophie's hair. "He might kiss me sometimes."

"Okay," says Sophie, and Clarke is actually a little alarmed.

"Okay what?"

"It's okay if he kisses you."

"Good." She nuzzles Sophie's wispy curls. "Is it okay if he comes over tomorrow? To come to the park with us?"

"If he wants to," she says.

"He does. He's been sad I haven't told you too. People don't usually date people with kids unless they like the kids too. And Bellamy does like you."

"He's nice," says Sophie. "And he knows a lot of good books."

"Yeah, he does." She kisses Sophie's hair again. "I think it's going to be good. Seeing more of him."

"Okay," says Sophie, and she doesn't sound _convinced_ , but she sounds like she's thinking about it.

Clarke gets the ice cream anyway. They've earned it.

*

Bellamy looks about as nervous as she's ever seen him when she opens the door the next morning, and Clarke grins and wraps her arms around his neck for a kiss. "Hi. Breathe."

"Easy for you to say."

"I think it went pretty well. She likes you. She trusts your taste in literature. She says you're allowed to kiss me sometimes."

"Good start," he says. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, yeah. I feel better."

"Lucky you," he teases, but there's no sting to it. "Where is she?"

"In the back with the puppies." She twines their fingers together. "Come on, you can say hi. She does like you," she adds, when she hesitates.

"Yeah, as the random adult she's met at the library, not the guy who's in love with her mom."

"I didn't tell her that yet. Right now you're still the guy her mom is dating and likes a lot."

"Yeah, but still."

"Remember how you're great with kids and kids love you? My kid included? Breathe. You'll be fine."

He keeps a firm grip on her hand, though, and it makes her guiltily happy, not that he's stressing out but that he cares so much about this, about her and Sophie both.

"Hey, Bellamy's here," Clarke says, pushing the back door open. Sophie looks up, taking them in, and offers him a shy smile. She hasn't been shy with him before, not really, but she's trying. It's good.

He squeezes Clarke's fingers once, firm, and then lets go, going to sit next to Sophie in the grass instead. "Hey."

"Hi," she says.

"Your mom told you we're dating?"

"Yeah."

He nods. "It's really weird, right?" That gets a surprised laugh out of her, and Clarke sees the flash of Bellamy's smile. "Yeah, I know. You know me and Octavia don't have the same dad?"

"You don't?"

"Nope. My mom and dad never got married. He left when I was just a baby, I don't even know his name. My mom met another guy she liked when I was just four, and they got married really fast."

"How fast?"

"Like, fairy-tale fast. At least to me. She brought him home one night and said he was moving in, and I hated it. I didn't know the guy at all, I didn't want him in my house, and he was just there suddenly, and I was going to have a little sister."

Clarke leans against the door, spellbound. It's her first time hearing the story too, at least from his perspective. He only ever talks about his mother.

"Am I going to have a little sister?"

"Uh, not right now," Bellamy says, and Clarke smiles at the color racing up his neck. "I really don't want to be like the guy my mom married," he adds, getting the story back on track. "It's, um. It's really important to me that you're comfortable with me and like having me around. So if you ever want to spend time with just your mom, you should tell me. And if I make you feel sad or scared, tell me, or her, so I can stop and we can make sure you feel better."

"He made you feel scared?" Soph asks, soft.

"Sometimes. He wasn't a very nice guy. But he didn't stick around for very long anyway." He rubs the back of his neck. "Like I said, I don't want to be like that. So--I know this can be big and scary and overwhelming, and I don't want it to be like that for you. So if me coming to the park with you is gonna be too much, I can leave."

Sophie shakes her head. "No. You can come to the park."

"Okay. But I mean it. If you feel like I'm staying too long or taking up too much of your mom's time, just say something. To her or to me. And we'll figure it out."

"Did your mom get married again?" Sophie asks, after a pause. "After Octavia's dad left."

"No. She dated a few more guys, but none of them moved in again, and I didn't really see them." He glances back at Clarke, and she gives him a thumbs up. "I wouldn't have minded if she found a nice guy and settled down, but--she never did." He shrugs a little. "Yeah. I know I'm the first guy your mom's dated, and I know it's weird. All we can really do is talk to each other about it."

"Do you want to be my dad?"

"You've never really had a dad, right?" She shakes her head. "Do you want one?"

"I dunno."

"It's up to you if I'm your dad," he says. "I like your mom a lot. I like you a lot." Clarke can see his throat work as he swallows. "I don't think anyone starts dating someone unless they think it's possible they'll want to get married someday. I wouldn't. But that's in the future, and it's way too early to be thinking about it. But even if I did marry her, it would be up to you what you wanted me to be to you. That's your call."

"But do you _want_ to be?" she asks, not looking at him, and Bellamy bites his lip.

"Yeah. Someday."

Sophie nods. "Okay."

"Okay," Bellamy agrees, and offers his hand. "So, I date your mom, you tell me if I'm doing anything wrong, and if everything goes well, I'll stick around and be your dad?"

Sophie gives it all due consideration, but she does shake. "Yeah."

"Cool. So, the park?"

Clarke presses in against his side as Sophie chases Lilo and Nani around the park. "I can't believe you were nervous."

"I don't talk about that much. Or think about it. O's dad was such a fucking slime ball."

"Yeah, but, honestly, I kind of do want to marry you after that speech," she teases. "You should have just told her to begin with, you did way better than I did. You're going to be a great dad."

He puts his arm around her and presses his lips to her hair. "Yeah. That's the plan."

*

They get their first sleepover when Raven and Wells come to visit. Raven spends all of dinner interrogating Bellamy in as family-friendly terms as she can manage, which Bellamy takes in stride, and after Sophie goes back to their house with her godparents and Clarke follows Bellamy home.

"You couldn't have warned me to be nervous about Raven?" he asks, sliding his arms around her waist and kissing her neck as soon as they're inside.

"You did fine."

"You always say that."

"You always do. She liked you. They both did. All my friends and family love you. You're passing all your boyfriend tests with flying colors. Don't be bitter just because all your friends already knew and liked me before we were dating."

"I'm bitter for so many reasons," he teases. 

"I bet I can make you feel better," she says, slipping out of his arms to tug him upstairs.

He grins. "I'm listening."

And the sex is awesome, of course, the first rush of it, and then when they slow down, taking their time, Bellamy learning every inch of her because she doesn't have to leave in an hour, and then the first press of him inside her, like every stupid cliche she's ever heard about what love is supposed to be like.

But the best part is waking up with him tangled around her, trading lazy kisses in bed, him fucking her again, slow and sweet, even though her mouth is disgusting with sleep and they're both kind of sticky and gross.

He's going to stay forever someday. She just knows it. She's going to wake up with him every morning and go to sleep with him every night.

"What?" he asks, nuzzling her neck as she curls back into him, holding on tight.

"I really like your bed," she says.

"So we'll keep it when I move in," he says, like it's no big deal. It probably isn't, honestly. Not like it should be.

"You like my house better?"

"Yeah. Bigger yard, better property values, and then Soph doesn't have to move again. I know it's not far, but--" 

Clarke cuts him off with a kiss. "So, your bed, my house," she says. Her smile is so big her face almost hurts.

"My bed, your house," he agrees, and Clarke nuzzles in close.

It's not going to be today. But she can wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Short follow-up fic [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8721106/chapters/20137519)!


End file.
